i dreamt of a pendant

8 penetrated by 1

an ancient code

my body already carried

did i find it

or did it find me

a knowing surged

a calling fulfilled

it was mine

but wait

why should it belong to you

Christiane

something this sacred

must be only for others

doubt and shame’s poison crept in

yet a flame

once lit

cannot be denied

my deepest desire

shimmering right before me

i only had to claim it

the mystery i’d chased all along

the real me

i put on the pendant

the dam broke

a wild river unleashed

life force

connection

creativity i thought i’d lost

from that current

something greater unfolded

a remembering

of how women lead

i heard a call to cross edges

though the good girl warned

do not touch

yes

it burns

but nothing like the agony

of betraying what i am

i did not come here to worship false gods

or serve lukewarm ties

over real bond

so i did the thing

i feared for a lifetime

i spoke the uncomfortable

directly

vulnerably

to those i once protected

i became the mother to my child

it cracked open

reached

moved like nothing before

time bent

lineage untethered

DRAGONESS surged through my body

what i am is not nice

it’s intimate

all-consuming

pure sexuality

the death of vanilla

raw

unfiltered

me

some didn’t like it

too sensual

too provocative

stop

it’s too much

keep silent

have you thought of your children